Translated by Doug Burkett
Yea, the loyal and the faithful were scattered and without form, wailing and shrieking in the wilderness. And in the low, grey lands, Ray of Kremer was broken. But he rose, and he toiled in the dark black arts of aitchtee-em-ell, and he learned of the spells and incantations of the black lords of the Server, whom all must serve. And one day he spoke the runes and cast the bones, and the lightening lit the night skies, and the thunder rolled without end, and Ray of Kremer cried "Behold! From the void, I have created the new land of OffTopic for you, my brothers and sisters. Rejoice and be glad, but bloody well behave yourselves this time!"
And though this new bright land be not on the maps of middle earth, and be not listed in the rolls of the Server, it does be, none the less. And King Paul, darkest and most powerful lord of the Server, said "Oh, all RIGHT!" (or something like that). And the faithful and penitent journeyed and pilgrammaged to this promised land, though it be distant and inaccessible. And as with one voice, they cried "Hail, Ray of Kremer, for he has made our new home!" And Ray of Kremer gazed upon them, and said, one more time, "Read this:" And they were glad and rejoiced.
And so it came to pass that one day, a vision appeared on the plains, and the vision was the goddess High-D, with visage terrible and beautiful, and the brothers and sisters were afraid, and fell prostrate and quaked. But she said to them "Rise, and be not afraid! For though you are innocent and work and play and post in your land of OffTopic, the dark lords of the Server are ever watchful with their baleful One Eye, and their vengeance is swift and without mercy. So play nice! :)
So ends the reading.
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