Translated by Ray Kremer
Many moons ago, in the land of Suggestions, somebody started a thread entitled "How's the weather?" and great multitudes responded in answer to the question. And the great creator Paul King looked down from Mount Texas and he found it humorous, and he created a new land and called it "How's the Weather?" And Paul King said to the peoples of the world, "This new land is an experiment, and it may last for a long time or for only a short time."
The sage Ray Kremer saw the new land, and he said to the people, "There has been much Off Topicing in the land of 89 and 92+, and it has crowded out the 89ing and the 92+ing. But look! Here is a new and fertile land in which we can Off Topic to our hearts' desire!" The people agreed with the sage, and many came to the new land and there was much joyous Off Topicing.
The evil demoness Laquisha Bonita from the underground realm of the Trolls saw the people frolicking in the new land, and grew jealous of their happiness, and she came to the new land and rebuked Paul King for creating it with her blashphemous cries of "Oh no you don't!". And the peoples fought against the demoness, and told her "Nay, this is a good land, and we praise the great Paul King for creating it." But Laquisha used her satanic ghetto-speak and met all arguments with threats of bodily harm, and spent much time telling how she would stomp on all our heads.
Soon many of the people tired of fighting against Laquisha, but the valiant knight Captain Ginyu vowed to continue the battle until the end. And great flames arose from the war between Laquisha and Ginyu, and they spread across the land and spoiled it. Then Paul King once again looked down from Mount Texas, and he saw that the new land he created was spoiled by the great war, and he saw that jokes from before the war had been carried by trickster spirits and brought into the land of 89 and 92+ where they become in-jokes, and he became sorrowful.
So Paul King called to his people and told them, "I have given you this fertile land, and see how you lay waste to it. The experiment is over!" And Paul King cast down his lightning bolt caused the new land to sink into the sea, and the peoples scattered from it and returned to whence they had come. The demoness was appeased by this, and she vanished, and the world was once again at peace. But some say that she lurks still in the shadows, ready to appear when her name is invoked.
Return